Am I going bonkers?

After moving to my new desk in the office, I no longer have anybody to turn around and share a joke with during work. The only neighbor I have is an old lady who has the tendency to doze off periodically while staring at her monitor. Zzz. Snort, Snort.

Fortunately, to brighten up my day, I would sometimes get a funny email or hear something really funny on my radio and have a really good laugh. Just today somebody called in the morning show to say that he just had a new haircut and it looks like the back of Darth Vader’s helmet. Ha! Ha! Ha! I held my hand to my mouth and tried to stifle my giggles. I just couldn’t stop laughing. I was getting a stitch from the joke! This caller had a really good sense of humour and I just couldn’t stop laughing to myself. Then suddenly to my surprise, I noticed a very disturbed looking old lady glancing at me suspiciously from my left. Oops. She probably thought I was loosing it.

Right beside this old lady sits Sleeping beauty no 2 who had dozed off at her workstation a few minutes earlier. A mirror lies propped in front of her to warn her of any passerby who might spot her catching some Zs as well as to reflect her sleepy face for passerby to see. (Hahaha!! Bet she didn’t know that!) Sleeping Beauty No2 glanced up at me with sleepy eyes and gave me a look of irritation. Dang! I woke her from her sweet dreams! She looked at me surprised but suspiciously too. I quickly recomposed myself and continued working on my figures. If I laughed anymore, she might just call the institution for lunatics I guess.

The other day I received an interesting riddle in an email. When I l found out that the answer to the riddle is there are no bananas in a coconut tree after trying to figure which species of monkey would be the first to climb up the coconut tree to retrieve the banana, I tried my best to suppress my laughter. Unfortunately Sleeping Beauty woke up and gave me a death look. Smile! You’re on candid camera! I wanted to yell but she cast me a look of death and rearranged her mirror so that she could see me from a better angle. Should I wave at her through the reflection of her mirror? Nah…she would think I was bonkers or something.

So if you’re that sender of the funny email, keep those funny mails coming. Oh and those funny calls on the radio too. I really love them. It gives me a good laugh as well as drives my colleagues crazy. That’s it for work entertainment news. Till the next blog.

A Cloudy Fascination

It was another lunch hour. We sat at our usual rendezvous eating our usual grub from the nearby food court. Amidst the usual munching and chatter, I stared out of the window and noticed the thick mass of cotton wool floating above our building. They looked like large spoonfuls of whip cream floating dreamily above us. As the minutes ticked by, I watched them swirl slowly and gather to form bigger clouds, like huge wide marsh mellows in the sky. Wouldn't it be nice to jump onto them and float merrily along with the clouds? Will they feel anything like cozy fluffy soft white pillows? As the wind painted the sky with splashes of vanilla ice cream, they began to resemble pieces of icing cake with a big mass of whip cream swirling about them.

Since then, I developed a new fascination with clouds. After searching the net I learnt a couple of things on the net. Did you know that clouds come with various names? Each shape and size can roughly tell you about the weather that is about to take place. The Cirrus, Stratus, Cumulus, Nimbus, cirrustratus, nimbostratus, the list goes on.... ahhh...the beauty of nature.

Nowadays I just can't resist taking a look at the window each time I get up to go to the copier or the loo or another part of the office. Check out the nimbustratus clouds in the photo. That's some cotton wool getting dirty. This is a sign that rain will come in about a few hours time...well unless the wind blows them to another part of Singapore....Hopefully I read those clouds correctly. I'll find out a few hours later from now.

My neighbour, the colleague who sits next to me and snoozes quite alot, is now pretty disturbed each time I turn around to look out of the window before leaving my seat. Haha! Is she conscious that I might see her snoozing in the reflection of our window? Hmmmm...if I can snap that shot, I would. Haha!

The Morning Jam Blues

It was another weekday morning. I was heading for work as usual. I stood on the platform wearily and waited for the train. There were already quite a few people standing at the Braddell underground platform - an indication that the train is either running a little late or a busload of people had just arrived from the bus stop above.

I watched the familiar light appear at the end of the tunnel. Oh great, the train is here! My fellow commuters started to edge a little closer to the platform gates. On your marks! Get set! The commuters on the platform B started to brace themselves. I always hate this part. As the train slided up the station, I studied the crowd as our carriage came into view. Argh! There was more standing room at the center of the car but everyone else was cluttering the doorway. Go! The train doors opened to reveal a mass of bodies. The people at the door simply refused to move in but nevertheless, the commuters from my side of the gate were just finding their way in. Like stubborn cattle, the doorway commuters were reluctantly herded further into the train. Baaaaa! Woof! Woof! Ok I was exaggerating about the animal sounds.

There was this particular woman who was standing right where the door opened. She just refused to barge and chose to stand in her favourite spot while the people from my side started flowing in. She simply gave a loud “Tsk!” and stared around at the people angrily. They were intruding her space so she made a face. Ah! Miss Tsk was one of those irritating and inconsiderate commuters who thinks that everyone else but herself is the problem. I could tell that Miss Tsk here was most likely going to get off at the City Hall Station.

You see, unlike other train stations, the train doors always open on the opposite side of the train only at Braddell and City Hall stations. I observe that most people who have plans to get off at City Hall just love to stand facing that side of the train. Now I could understand Miss Tsk’s anguish to “get ready” to get off the crowded train by standing near the doorway. However the problem is, City Hall Station is seven stops away and she was being just ridiculous to block the door of a crowded train. She was also the only weirdo facing her side of the door while everyone else was facing the other way. There were mornings that I had to encounter PSP freaks who kept their eyes glued to their PSPs while refusing to move to the center of the car but Miss Tsk here was just trying to close her eyes and go to sleep with all the bustling taking place around her. When Miss Tsk refused to move in, I was forced to stand right in front of her with no place else to squeeze in.

Oh well, I was so thankful that my journey to Novena Station was just a short one. Just 2 beautiful stops away. I counted the minutes to my stop and ignored Miss Tsk’s sullen face. When the train doors opened at the opposite side, I happily brushed past her and disregarded more of her Tsks on my way out. Sayonara Miss Tsk! Enjoy the rest of your crowded journey with the mass of bodies. And oh, do take care that your nose don't get caught between the doors. Ha ha! What a morning.

Swear words and their actions - How sillier can they get?

This is a decent blog about obscenities, profanities, vulgarities and whatever you call them. It was another weekend after church. I was walking down the street when I saw a group of Indian teenagers giggling while hurling vulgarities at each other. They were in their early teens for they looked really young and mischievous. The group appeared to be having a friendly but vulgar shouting matching.

One flashed the middle finger at the other while the other made a fist and slammed it against her other palm. Wrapped up in their own amusement, they squealed with laughter so loudly that they drew scornful stares from passersby. Then to my amazement, one of them stopped in her tracks, lifted one leg up and clapped her hands below that folded leg. It looked so funny as she was doing that action. Was that the latest hip hop dance move? Her friend guffawed and responded with the same hip hop dance move. And she almost toppled over after clapping her hands. Okay. I figured it was another sign for a swear word but it was the silliest one I've ever seen. A passerby gave them a good tsk-tsking. I later asked a friend what that action meant and she told me it has the same meaning as flashing the middle finger. Really. What a lot of trouble to go through just to use a swear word. When this generation takes over the workplace in the future, be prepared for some creative dance moves when they get stressed up. We'll be too old to hip hop and spin in the air by then.

I think swear words can be really silly sometimes. I mean people swear when they are angry and it usually happens at the spur of the moment. For some people, they simply use it as a form of punctuation to sound cool or silly. Whichever. Oh whatever.

When a guy says "F* you" to another, he's insulting the other guy's manhood. But suppose if the other guy is gay, he'll probably smile and say thank you. When a guy uses the "F" word on a woman, he's outraging her modesty. She'll probably respond by slapping him. But if a woman uses that word on a man or another woman, oh my....

So who invented the "F" word anyway and why? In our part of the world, the Hokkien community swears by scolding another person a genital organ. So how is a genital organ offensive to another? I have no idea either. They might as well yell "Gall bladder!", "Kidneys!" or "Liver!" to the other person.

Oh well. Swear words are meant to be silly I guess. Only the Gall blokes will know better.